1. Burg does not grow facial hair. He grows facial rebar.
2. Burg eats naughty children and poops successful adults.
3. If you drop a phonograph needle on Burg's nipple, it plays Phil Collins' "No Jacket Required".
4. Burg once saved old people from a nursing home fire by killing them before they could be scorched.
5. Burg was created when an Alaskan kodiak bear mated with a mountain.
6. Burg abducts aliens.
7. Burg CAN believe it's not butter.
8. Burg has a pet tornado named "Oblivion" that he breast feeds.
9. Burg kisses fear on the mouth, and punches failure in the face
10. Can skip chapters on a VHS